Holiday Without the Heels

First, an apology for the lack of photos on this one. I should point out that if my hands were not rifling through carpet samples or digging buckshot out of a rabbit carcass , I might have documented things a little better. But alas, on with the story of my National Lampoon’s Christmas- brought to you by my running shoes.

I had the great luck (as I often do) of being out of town on business the night that our plumbing took its last flush. Its swan song consisted of an unobserved overflow for several hours, finally culminating in a grand finale of 2 rooms and a hallway ruined from the baseboards down. Now, don’t misunderstand me here- I have been searching for a good reason to get rid of the carpet in these rooms and hallway for quite some time, so it was actually not a bad opportunity. So after the 5 days of getting to know the guys at Fox Service Company really well, I had to deal with the flooring fiasco. I finally decided, reluctantly, to put in more carpet. After all, I hope to knock down some walls in the near future, and spending time and money on something nicer would be a waste once the floor plan is changed. So with new Berber on order and tack strips on gorgeous mildew-y display, I set about on my holiday duties.

The quick and painless day spent with family occurred on the 23rd. By Christmas Eve, I was able to put together a fabulous shopping list for my killer Christmas menu, and I even had a nice glass of bubbles (or two or three) with some good friends. Odd that my house, even in its current disastrous condition, was still the best place for Christmas dinner. No matter.

Now the menu that my cooking partner and I had created included rabbit, and outside of frozen bunnies, it’s not an easy game to find. My neighbor is an avid hunter, and when he mentioned that he was going rabbit hunting, I made a little deal with him to trade a bottle of wine for every rabbit he brought me. After several days of hunting with nothing to show for it, I gave up on his marksman abilities and went ahead with other plans at the market. But lo and behold, Christmas morning he brought me 4 bunnies.

“They’re only field dressed,” he warned me.

“That’s fine!” I assured him with full confidence in my skills with a piece of meat. We made the trade and I dove into my first lesson in cleaning wild game. I have to admit that I was happy to see he had removed the heads and feet for me. However, cleaning bits of fur and metal pellets from these creatures who had been happily hopping mere hours before was a harrowing experience. I knew then and there that I would never again take for granted any piece of living thing that I put in my mouth for consumption.

I put the cleaned rabbits in a pan with olive oil and sage, and let them rest while we began on all the other dishes. Here is how the menu originally read:

Cheddar Puffs with Fresh Herbs and Pancetta

Broiled Goat Cheese Stuffed Dates with Basil and Prosciutto

Sardinian Lamb and Pork Pies in Phyllo Dough

Roast Chicken Phyllo Pies with Goat cheese, Rosemary and Capers

Mixed Green Salad with Pear, Ricotta and Pancetta

Anchovy Stuffed Olives and Cayenne Spiced Olives

Fromage d’Affinois and Gruyere with Sliced Baguette

Goose Liver Pate

Apple Pie and Pecan Pie

Now, with the last minute addition of the rabbits, we decided to fricasee two of them, and use the other two in rabbit pies. And some time during the next 11 straight hours of cooking and drinking, we had a few more guests arrive than intended. Good thing we had extra. For a few vegetarians who arrived, we roasted some yams, russet potatoes, and brussel sprouts, and mashed them with ricotta to make the veggie pies. They were then finished off with a drizzle of truffle oil. We had three different sauces to top the pies- one from the lamb stock, herbs and red wine, another from the rabbit stock with butter and white wine, and finally a lovely sauce from the roast chicken stock.

At one point in the evening, while jostling for space in my tiny kitchen in between each other, two toddlers, and countless other distractions, my cooking partner and I managed to each sustain bad burns from the very same pot at the very same time. Syncronisity? Or the kitchen gods demanding we stop the madness and focus?

There was NOTHING left over. The guests were joyful and full of yummies. We toasted with our uninjured hands to a job well done, and we said Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Oh, and the carpet will arrive on Tuesday.